Inner Turmoil
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Severide downplayed his injury but when he left the hospital, Casey had to ask his friend what the real reason for his withdrawal might be. Was it the injury? or something more? Based on eppy 5.02 'A Real Wake-up Call' My missing #sevasey broment


**Title: Inner Turmoil**

 **Summary:** Severide downplayed his injury but when he left the hospital, Casey had to ask his friend what the real reason for his withdrawal might be. Was it the injury? or something more? Based on eppy 5.02 'A Real Wake-up Call' My missing #sevasey broment

 **Disclaimer:** Same as always. I own nothing but my muse and my love for all things #firefighters #Sevasey & #Lindseride

 **A/N:** Okay so some Kelly hurt and emotional torment but wanted to write a little broment b/c we don't get enough (they write their characters how they want and well…so will I) and hope you all like it a little :)

 **Note:** As always " _words in double quotes & italics are directly from the eppy" _other italics are just thoughts.

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 _"Just a big blood blister, but no skin broken…"_

He looked at his hand after he had come back from the tense call, the grisly image of the man's leg caught in the thick cable would haunt him for a few nights at least. He tried to push it to the back of his mind but it was to no avail. But in that second, instead of the well-seasoned fisherman's face he saw another – Grant's just after he sliced his jugular with the piece of sharp metal, his body writhing on the ground as Grant's hand tried to stem the pulsing blood.

Severide cursed in an undertone as Stella merely brushed past him, almost treating him like he was just a bystander and wasn't the one who was nearly charged with some kind of felony.

"Hey…heard the call was rough," Casey mentioned as he neared, severed looking up as he reached the back of Truck 3 and slightly nodded.

"Guy's gonna have one hell of a limp. But at least he'll pull through."

"Cruz said you got your hand caught in the cable roller?"

"No big deal," Severide retorted as he held his hand up. "Dawson looked at it and cleared me for duty. That's gotta count for something right?" He grinned as he pushed past.

"Sure," Casey muttered in an undertone as his brow furrowed as he watched Severide disappear from view. However, even the small flash was enough to show him that not everything was alright with his friend. However…he decided not to push it for now and headed back to where Louie and Dawson were hanging out with Connie.

"Damn bastard," Severide grumbled as he slammed his locker shut and then looked around the empty room. He didn't understand Stella's morbid devotion to her ex, she kept telling him it was her problem and they weren't a couple and that..."to hell with it," he grumbled as he slammed his already throbbing hand against the solid metal frame and then pulled it back with another angry curse.

"Nothing huh."

Severide looked up as Casey approached and shook his head. "Look man…it's fine, really. Just…"

"The guys are talking about what Grant did. Heard she's not pressing charges."

"Yeah stupid…I mean it's a stupid thing to do…just let him get away with it, face no consequences," Severide complained as he looked down at his fleshy palm.

"That…is a nasty boo-boo," Casey retorted as Severide looked up in amusement. "Hanging around Louie too long," he added with a smile.

"Yeah…yeah it is. Hurts like a damn."

"Especially hitting that."

"I just…" Severide started and then paused. "Not my business so guess I should just butt out. How's…Jimmy?"

"Speaking of stubborn," Casey sighed as he rubbed his face. "I get he's mad but he's not facing…he doesn't want to hear the truth. Hermann…he told it like it was. Otis said Jimmy stormed out of Molly's but…but he needs to face the truth of what his brother did before he can really start to heal."

"Going off on Boden like that…not a good move."

"Yeah he's pushing more guys away than he is trying to get them to empathize," Casey added as he leaned against the lockers and looked at Severide in concern. "That fight with Grant…you didn't say much about it."

"What's to say? Guy was high…came at me with a knife and Stella…she acts like it's no big deal," Severide answered angrily. "I don't get it."

"Maybe…" Casey started only to have the overhead paging system go off and once again it's all hands on deck. "Make sure you wrap that when you put the glove on."

"Yes mom," Severide retorted with a small chuckle as they both rushed out of the locker room and joined their teams as they got their gear and then got into their trucks and headed toward the call.

 _'Car accident…potential for fire…fuel leakage…'_

It should have been routine. And it would have been if everyone had listened…had heard Boden's instructions and followed them as directed, as taught…as learned. But instead of listening, Jimmy, already emotionally charged up, raced headlong toward disaster and nearly ended his life.

And as ambulance 61 sped away, every member of Firehouse 51 watched in morbid silence. Despite Jimmy's attitude as of late, none of them would have wished this fate upon him – none of them. The job was cruel and it taught a powerful lesson – if you don't listen and insist on playing with fire – you will get burned. Literally.

But at the hospital the mood was just as morbid…somber…deflated. Severide looked around, looked at Stella who sat in an almost stunned stupor, holding Brett's hand, while Dawson sat on the other side. He looked at Casey who sat by Dawson and then around at his team.

 _Leave…you don't want to be here…just…go…_

And that's what he chose to do. With a swift motion he stood up and then turned to leave.

 _"You're leaving?" Cruz asked in shock as he looked first at Casey and then back down at his own squad member._

 _"Yeah. Can't do anything here."_

And with that, Kelly Severide turned and left the room, adding some slacked jaws and wondering glances to the festering silence.

"Kelly!"

"I'm done Matt…I don't need to sit there and look at her and…"

"What?" Casey asked as they both stood outside in the cool night air a few meters from the ER entrance. "Her? You mean Jimmy right?"

"No…ah damn it," Severide grumbled as he looked at Casey in misery. "I risked my life for her and she…she just tossed it away as it if was nothing. We're not a couple…I get it…she wants something casual and…ah forget it," he huffed as he turned to leave.

"Hey…hold on a sec," Casey hurried a few steps and caught up with his hurting friend; turning Severide to look at him. "What is going on?"

"I….okay so I started to feel something for her…I thought I was protecting myself and maybe both of us by keeping it casual. But…but after that night I thought…she dismissed the charge as if it was nothing. Like she didn't care that he tried to kill her…tried to kill me…and that I was nearly charged with…they asked me if it was intentional!" Severide hissed as Casey crossed his arms over his chest and let his friend rant. "I didn't expect her to just dismiss…what we had as nothing and then to treat me like…like I didn't even exist. Like my feelings didn't matter... didn't count for anything other than sex."

"Ouch…didn't know it was that cool."

"It was that cool," Severide qualified in anger. "It was nothing! And now…now she's running after Grant again to get him help and…ah I'm done."

"Kelly…"

"Not done…like that," he huffed as he lifted his weary sapphire eyes and left them drift toward the entrance of the hospital. "Just done with…maybe keeping it casual is the best. One night stand…whatever. Mouch mocks so why not keep the rep going right?"

"I know you want to find someone to settle down with."

"Yeah."

"Just wish she hadn't dismissed it so easily. I know…normally I'm the one do that so I shouldn't be a hypocrite right?"

"But…it still hurts," Casey added softly as Severide nodded.

"Yeah…it does. I don't…I don't know."

"So…did you have plans or were you just going to go and…"

"No plans. Maybe just go out and…I don't know," Severide sighed as he rubbed his face and looked out into the dark, empty parking lot. "Alone."

"How about…after we wait here for a bit…I'm gonna say a few things to Jimmy and then why not come over? Hang out with us and Rumpelstiltskin."

"No way…you're trying to fool Louie with that lame voice over?"

"It takes a lot of work to fool him," Casey retorted with a smile as he gently clapped his friend on the back. "Kelly…"

"Sure…I'll add a few sound effects myself."

"Sounds like a plan, but careful, he's pretty smart."

"You're just biased."

"I am, just a little," Casey smiled as they turned and headed back inside. "And no matter what happens…you know you always have the House on your side."

"I know," Severide agreed with a small wince. "Hand still hurts. Can Louie fix that too?" He snickered.

"Ask Dawson…she's been teaching him a few things," Casey stated proudly. "And as for Stella…"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?" Severide interjected with a heavy sigh.

"Exactly."

The two of them head back inside and slump down side by side in the waiting room while Boden talked to Jimmy and while Casey knew a few words wouldn't completely ease his friends emotional agitation, he hoped that by the end of the evening it would have at least started to subside a bit and Severide would have a plan to face the next few days with less pent up anger; both of them hoping they'd seen the last of Grant. But would Severide be able to calm his inner turmoil for good or was he a slowly ticking emotional time bomb? And if he did see Grant again how would things go?

Severide gave Casey a firm nod but inside his mind asked the same questions – only…he knew the answers already, and that scared him more than he would admit.

 **THE END!**

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 **A/N:** Not a fan of the Casey/politics stuff so yup left it out haha Sorry I am a little rusty at these but hope you all liked it a bit and please do review before you go and thanks so much!


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